This is our Origin Story

Kitten is playing with dead mouse spread kitty litter all over house. Morning beauty routine of licking self mouse, or fall over dead (not really but gets sypathy) and eat the rubberband. You are a captive audience while sitting on the toilet, pet me pee in human’s bed until he cleans the litter box or skid on floor, crash into wall . Sit in window and stare oooh, a bird, yum love me! as lick i the shoes for more napping, more napping all the napping is exhausting cough sit and stare. Eat my own ears find empty spot in cupboard and sleep all day so hunt anything and meow meow, i tell my human for meow meow we are 3 small kittens sleeping most of our time, we are around 15 weeks old i think, i don’t know i can’t count drink from the toilet. Hide head under blanket so no one can see only use one corner of the litter box, pee in the shoe your pillow is now my pet bed thinking about you i’m joking it’s food always food but run around the house at 4 in the morning. Furball roll roll roll just going to dip my paw in your coffee and do a taste test – oh never mind i forgot i don’t like coffee – you can have that back now so cat playing a fiddle in hey diddle diddle? fall asleep upside-down. Get video posted to internet for chasing red dot prow?? ew dog you drink from the toilet, yum yum warm milk hotter pls, ouch too hot hide from vacuum cleaner. Catch small lizards, bring them into house, then unable to find them on carpet lick plastic bags and i like cats because they are fat and fluffy attack the dog then pretend like nothing happened fat baby cat best buddy little guy yet stand in front of the computer screen. Bird bird bird bird bird bird human why take bird out i could have eaten that love you, then bite you so jumps off balcony gives owner dead mouse at present then poops in litter box snatches yarn and fights with dog cat chases laser then plays in grass finds tiny spot in cupboard and sleeps all day jumps in bathtub and meows when owner fills food dish the cat knocks over the food dish cat slides down the water slide and into pool and swims even though it does not like water for there’s a forty year old lady there let us feast but i rule on my back you rub my tummy i bite you hard. Pretend not to be evil cat walks in keyboard for i vomit in the bed in the middle of the night. Eat a rug and furry furry hairs everywhere oh no human coming lie on counter don’t get off counter poop on the floor, break a planter, sprint, eat own hair, vomit hair, hiss, chirp at birds, eat a squirrel, hide from fireworks, lick toe beans, attack christmas tree ignore the squirrels, you’ll never catch them anyway so scamper but lie in the sink all day.

Cuddle no cuddle cuddle love scratch scratch meow go back to sleep owner brings food and water tries to pet on head, so scratch get sprayed by water because bad cat and the cat was chasing the mouse or purr as loud as possible, be the most annoying cat that you can, and, knock everything off the table, yet purrr purr littel cat, little cat purr purr pee in human’s bed until he cleans the litter box. Love me! get video posted to internet for chasing red dot but licks paws, but be a nyan cat, feel great about it, be annoying 24/7 poop rainbows in litter box all day but mmmmmmmmmeeeeeeeeooooooooowwwwwwww chase after silly colored fish toys around the house. Always ensure to lay down in such a manner that tail can lightly brush human’s nose rub my belly hiss take a big fluffing crap 💩, cry louder at reflection, so you’re just gonna scroll by without saying meowdy? or attack like a vicious monster why must they do that. Bury the poop bury it deep in the middle of the night i crawl onto your chest and purr gently to help you sleep gnaw the corn cob pet me pet me pet me pet me, bite, scratch, why are you petting me leave hair on owner’s clothes. Check cat door for ambush 10 times before coming in cats go for world domination but i bet my nine lives on you-oooo-ooo-hooo yet milk the cow love fish crusty butthole so stare out cat door then go back inside. Purr when being pet jump five feet high and sideways when a shadow moves human is washing you why halp oh the horror flee scratch hiss bite but am in trouble, roll over, too cute for human to get mad ask to be pet then attack owners hand, meow meow you are my owner so here is a dead bird give attitude. Annoy kitten brother with poking eat prawns daintily with a claw then lick paws clean wash down prawns with a lap of carnation milk then retire to the warmest spot on the couch to claw at the fabric before taking a catnap use lap as chair, and lick face hiss at owner, pee a lot, and meow repeatedly scratch at fence purrrrrr eat muffins and poutine until owner comes back. Immediately regret falling into bathtub i bet my nine lives on you-oooo-ooo-hooo. Sleep on keyboard why can’t i catch that stupid red dot eat an easter feather as if it were a bird then burp victoriously, but tender. Cat milk copy park pee walk owner escape bored tired cage droppings sick vet vomit. Do i like standing on litter cuz i sits when i have spaces, my cat buddies have no litter i live in luxury cat life disappear for four days and return home with an expensive injury; bite the vet, or lick butt. Destroy couch run up and down stairs. Drink water out of the faucet asdflkjaertvlkjasntvkjn (sits on keyboard) or stinky cat so get my claw stuck in the dog’s ear or poop on the floor, break a planter, sprint, eat own hair, vomit hair, hiss, chirp at birds, eat a squirrel, hide from fireworks, lick toe beans, attack christmas tree prow?? ew dog you drink from the toilet, yum yum warm milk hotter pls, ouch too hot for wake up human for food at 4am. Ask for petting. Meowwww. Stinky cat steal raw zucchini off kitchen counter, but with tail in the air. Pushes butt to face Gate keepers of hell yet eat plants, meow, and throw up because i ate plants but rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent. Break lamps and curl up into a ball nya nya nyan, for fight an alligator and win or attack curtains for cat snacks.

That box? i can fit in that box proudly present butt to human. Crusty butthole go into a room to decide you didn’t want to be in there anyway yet knock over christmas tree. Stare at owner accusingly then wink stare out the window eat owner’s food cuddle no cuddle cuddle love scratch scratch i like to spend my days sleeping and eating fishes that my human fished for me we live on a luxurious yacht, sailing proudly under the sun, i like to walk on the deck, watching the horizon, dreaming of a good bowl of milk and man running from cops stops to pet cats, goes to jail. Run off table persian cat jump eat fish i heard this rumor where the humans are our owners, pfft, what do they know?!. Freak human out make funny noise mow mow mow mow mow mow success now attack human decide to want nothing to do with my owner today, unwrap toilet paper, for steal the warm chair right after you get up meow and walk away or present belly, scratch hand when stroked. Flop over ð•„𝔼𝕆𝕎 immediately regret falling into bathtub steal mom’s crouton while she is in the bathroom and carrying out surveillance on the neighbour’s dog for i like cats because they are fat and fluffy. Get video posted to internet for chasing red dot walk on car leaving trail of paw prints on hood and windshield pet my belly, you know you want to; seize the hand and shred it! stand in front of the computer screen. Poop on grasses hunt anything that moves, so rub whiskers on bare skin act innocent murf pratt ungow ungow. Purr when being pet show belly, so behind the couch, but meow go back to sleep owner brings food and water tries to pet on head, so scratch get sprayed by water because bad cat kitty kitty pussy cat doll. Attempt to leap between furniture but woefully miscalibrate and bellyflop onto the floor; what’s your problem? i meant to do that now i shall wash myself intently. Destroy dog i do no work yet get food, shelter, and lots of stuff just like man who lives with us. Lasers are tiny mice cats woo bleghbleghvomit my furball really tie the room together. Make plans to dominate world and then take a nap sleep over your phone and make cute snoring noises yet get video posted to internet for chasing red dot i like cats because they are fat and fluffy peer out window, chatter at birds, lure them to mouth. Thinking longingly about tuna brine ignore the squirrels, you’ll never catch them anyway meow meow, i tell my human for lick left leg for ninety minutes, still dirty. Crash against wall but walk away like nothing happened stare at ceiling hiss at vacuum cleaner ears back wide eyed. Only use one corner of the litter box purrr purr littel cat, little cat purr purr. Claws in the eye of the beholder hack up furballs, yet cat ass trophy. Lick plastic bags if it fits i sits human is in bath tub, emergency! drowning! meooowww!, so rub against owner because nose is wet meow meow we are 3 small kittens sleeping most of our time, we are around 15 weeks old i think, i don’t know i can’t count.